The gearing you are looking to get are going to be: the D44 4:27 and the 9" 4:30. The problem you are going to run into right off the bat is that these gears are not "common" ratios. Granted most shops sell them, but they are about $20-50 more expensive than what lower gear sets are. This really isnt a big deal, but why spend money on a set of gears when you can SAVE money and get lower gears in the first place. If you are going to be using this rig as an occaisional off road rig but mainly as an everyday driver, I would suggest going with a 4:10/4:11 combo. If this is going to be a trail rig with minor road use, I would say 4:56 in both casings. If you are going off road only and trailering to and from the trail, I would go anything lower than the 4:56. Just remember, if you change your rear gearing you have to change the front gearing as well.
The 35 spline axles are probably the 2nd best axles out there, but when you are talking the 41 splines are the best, well...... A 31 spline axle will do everything you should want out of it unless you are rock racing it. They are about 2x as strong as the 28 splines and are readily available from 90% of 4x shops. The 35 splines are about $70 more but are also that much stronger than the 31s. It is just more money for better strength and they will fit the regular BB housing. This is also where the nodular casing can come into play. If you got the money to drop on it, then why not? A nodular is something that NASCAR uses and is bomb proof, whereas the regular 9" housing is only bullet proof. Either way, it depends on how much money you want to spend and what you are building it for.
As far as your lockers go, I have the ARB and I love them. I know Chuck at BC Broncos has an electric locker in his and he has had if for a few years and says it is pretty good as well. The main difference is what you prefer. There is more plumbing involved w/the ARBs than the electrics, but that is because of the air lines.